See folks? It's not just you. Even the greats and the gifteds like the amazing Gail Simone (Facebook, Twitter) get the feels of imposter syndrome or the downs and sads in a creative career. So hang in there.
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It's no secret that making comics has always been my dream career. It was a dream so big, I learned not to speak it aloud because I knew people would be derisive or dismissive or both. I listened to those people for a long time, so much so that I got a completely different career and ended up owning a beauty salon instead of writing stories about guys in capes punching each other.
I was pretty sure my dream was no more likely than becoming a starship captain, so I made a good, less dream-filled life and was okay with it, mostly.
Through a bizarre set of circumstances I ended up with that dream career coming true. I am endlessly grateful. I kid you not, I feel that gratitude every day, you have probably seen me express it here many times. I never wanted to write comics as a stepping stone to anything else...to me, comics were the destination.
And I still love it, I might love it more than ever. The editors you get to work with, the artists, the retailers and readers...traveling around the world talking to all these people, it's magic, it's my favorite thing. Trying to be a good caretaker to characters who made life SO much more bearable as a kid, it's a joy and privilege.
But life has taken a weird turn and a lot of opportunities have come to me that are very long-form projects, in other media. And I love a challenge, and I wanted to try them out. So I am still working with a lot of characters I have loved forever, but now a lot of it is in film, tv, games, and prose.
I have to say, the welcome I have received in those fields is amazing. But I can't really talk about it yet.
And that's the problem, some of this stuff takes a year or more, and you can't TALK about it, and if you're used to having multiple comics coming out every month, you're ALWAYS talking about what's coming up instead of waiting for a window months and months away. I kind of miss it.
And I miss making comics, even the comics I AM making are mostly either very short or VERY long in the process. But I just love comics, I always will.
So I got a box of comps from a major publisher and I didn't really have anything in it, except a short story in a nice anthology book. And I was kind of mopey and feeling a bit sorry for myself because I'm so used to having new comics come out every month and that hasn't been the case while working on this other stuff.
Hubby asked what was wrong (normally I love opening the comp box) and I moped a mopey mopester response..."I don't have any comics in this box, I have been working my butt off and it seems like I haven't done anything in a year (even I knew this wasn't true, but this stuff all takes SO much longer than a monthly comic that it kind of felt that way)."
I must have had a pitiful look on my face because hubby looked at me like I had a head injury. "Are you KIDDING?" he asked.
Then he started listing off some of the things I have done in the past year and I had not really put it all together like that. Turns out that I had a year to be proud of, in some ways. This isn't boasting, it's just about how easy to get down on yourself if you head in that direction.
So, in 2020, here's some stuff I did:
I took a train to Chicago for a convention, something I've wanted to do my entire life.
I am writing my first novel for one of the most prestigious literary agents in the country, and it's just going beautifully.
I worked on the Red Sonja movie script and production with the fabulous and brilliant Joey Soloway.
I wrote the intro for an upcoming Triple-A game from one of the biggest video game companies in the world.
I am developing tv, film, and game projects with some of the most fantastic and talented people I've ever met.
I am doing fantasy comics with the lovely people at Hit Point Press.
In the past six weeks, I've had two a-list directors call me saying they want to work with me.
But even MORE important to me...
I built and maintained a huge garden with lots of delicious, healthy fruits and vegetables. Despite being born on a farm, I have never had a successful garden before.
I started a fun, joyful exercise program (including Beat Saber!) that actually is a pleasure to do and makes me happy.
I helped raise thousands for comic shops during the #Creators4Comics event. I also packed up big boxes of high-quality new graphic novels to donate to local comic shops.
I wrote (with Jim Calafiore illustrating) a benefit book about a real-life little hero, a three year old Navajo boy who loved Batman who was tragically killed by a distracted driver. It's called ZAADII: THE LEGEND OF Z-HAWK, and it meant so much to me, and to his family. You can read the story here: https://www.travelers.com/.../zaadiis-unfinished-story
Perhaps the thing I am proudest of, I conceived and spearheaded (with an astounding team of volunteers and the ridiculous generosity of the entire comics industry) a 100% twitter-driven benefit that in two (sleepless) weeks raised over $328,000 for black support organizations. Artists like Jim Lee, Bill Sienkiewicz, Greg Hildebrandt, Denys Cowan, and so, so many more donated their beautiful art to raise money. I will be forever grateful and it was one of the most rewarding things I have ever been part of.
And just a few days after THAT I had an idea for a comics bundle with the nice folks and Humble Bundle, and again with a great team, we raised ANOTHER $75,000 for black support causes.
The point of this is two-fold...
First, marry the right person. 🙂 LOVE YOU, ROCKETSPOUSE!
Second, this has been a weird year. If you looked back and thought, 'Oh, I haven't accomplished what I'd hoped...' do me a favor.
CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK, IT'S A PANDEMIC.
Maybe I didn't have many comics in the box. Maybe you didn't learn to play the violin. Maybe we didn't learn French.
I bet you STILL did a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
If you got up and made your kids breakfast.
If you took care of your own physical and mental health as best you could.
If you did video schooling.
If you helped others.
If you loved someone.
If you rescued an animal.
If you donated time or money to a good cause or to someone in need.
If you crafted, sang, talked a friend through a bad patch, if you tried new making new dishes, if you cheered someone up.
All those things count. They all go big on the LIST OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR 2020 WHEN IT SEEMED LIKE THE WORLD WAS ON FIRE.
Give yourself a break, pat yourself on the back for what you COULD accomplish.
It really is a matter of perspective and most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. We cut others slack and keep our own leashes SO TIGHT.
I say, shine a light on what you did that was positive, for you or for others.
I love ya, I am glad you're out there.
Keep it up.
P.S. I know I am very fortunate, just was missing making comics a bit! Hope to do more soon!
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Editor's Note: Reposted here by permission of Gail Simone.
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