who want to believe. ... It is much harder to believe than not to believe."
At first glance, these quotes don't really seem to have anything to do with each other. One is pop psychology from "the world's most popular band" (or used to be anyway). The other is a quote about religion (particularly her own Catholicism) by perhaps the greatest Southern fiction writer to have ever lived.
But, with a little spackle and some good ol' fashioned chiseling around the edges, I think I can force-fit them easily into a discussion about writing and writers and imposter syndrome and feeling like a failure.
As You Start Out the Climb
Everybody starts somewhere. No. Wait. Let's personalize that a bit. All writers start somewhere. Maybe it's a little bit of raw talent. Maybe it's enough interest to learn a little bit of technique. Or maybe it's blind, unfocused determination spent with a blank screen and a blinking cursor or an empty, yellow, lined sheet of paper on a legal pad. But it is indeed somewhere. It's a place, a starting block, a line that indicates go.
There are quite a few of these places common to beginning (and established writers).
- I will write 300 words every day.
- I will read at least one chapter of a book every day.
- I will write one short story each month/week/etc.
- I will write a novel for NaNoWriMo this year.
The first few days are exciting, but then somehow all that magic you expected to keep feeling turns into real work. Wouldn't it be more healthy to go for a run instead of wasting this afternoon at the computer? Wouldn't it be more inspiring to watch that new Marvel movie instead of churning out my 300 words today? It's okay. You can miss one.
And you can. There are no rules in this game after all -- except the ones you set for yourself.
But, rules or not, guilt rears its glaring face and it stares at you. It shouts all those words you already know too well. Failure. Hack. Imposter. Not a real writer. Not good enough. Not dedicated enough.
All that progress uphill gets sidetracked.
It's a new year and as usual, lots of folks resolve to get healthy, so let's look there for our comparison. You decide to start running four times a week. Good for you. Well done. Let's go.
Only, you're not in the kind of shape yet to run as far as you want to yet maybe. Perhaps you're already wheezing after the first half mile and your calves are burning.
It's not a hill. It's a mountain.
One day you'll be able to run that mountain, but you've got to learn to get comfortable on it first. The more practiced you become, the more that mountain becomes a hill instead. But it always starts the same -- a massive, freakin' mountain! There's just no getting around that, no matter what you might be promised by a writing course in a Facebook ad.
Sadly, this doesn't just apply to new writers. It also hits home for seasoned writers getting back in after a break from regular writing. Maybe a new full-time job sidelined your regular hours for spinning words into stories. Maybe you've been sick for a few weeks. Maybe you're dealing with family drama. Maybe you just didn't feel the urge to write like you used to and needed to take a break. Whatever the reason, it is all okay. Totally hunky dory. Muy bien. Mucho bueno. Molta bella.
Because you may have been writing for years, you figure it should be easy to jump back on that horse (I love a good horsey cliche) and be back at full efficiency and writing prowess.
But, the page stays blank. The cursor blinks at you like an empty promise.
Where the hell did the damn words go?
Your hill turned back into a mountain. Put simply, you got out of practice. Yes, that quickly.
But that is easily remedied. Simply start over. Build back up the stamina. Turn that mountain back into a hill.
As long as it takes.
Harder to Believe (In Yourself) Than Not To
What's the biggest killer for your drive to write?
No. Don't buy into the lie that it's this imaginary monster called Writer's Block. It doesn't exist. There's always something real lying beneath the surface of that fairy tale villain. Could be family troubles. Could be health issues. Could be stress. Could be work conflicts.
The trick is to know the root cause and not just call it Writers Block and try to fight something that isn't real. Fight the real issue.
But enough of that rabbit trail. Back to the question.
What's the biggest killer for your drive to write?
It's doubt. Yes. Doubt.
It can come with several targets. You doubt your ability to get anything done in the time allotted or available. You doubt your readers will still be there from your last story. You doubt your very abilities since you haven't exercised them for so long. Or as a new writer you may doubt that you have any talent at all and have just been fooling yourself.
Stop. Ask yourself a few questions.
- Have you written before? Then you can do it again.
- Have you studied and practiced the skills needed to write? Then it's time to do the legwork to go along with that study.
- Do you only have a limited amount of time to work on your writing? Then use it. Limited doesn't give you an excuse to just skip it entirely.
- Did folks enjoy your work before? Chances are they still will. It just might take a little work to let them know you're back.
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