Looking into the Abyss of 'Why Bother'

by Judy Black

I have to be honest, the past month I have been struggling. 

My mind constantly circles the 'why bother doing this?' question constantly. I wonder if I'd be better off spending my limited free time sleeping or catching up on all the TV shows I still haven't watched. I wonder if it's worth it, or if anyone would care if I stopped making things. 

Thankfully, I have a wonderful group of creative friends who worry about this too, but who also grab my shoulders and shake me while lovingly screaming 'I'd care if you stopped making things you weird little potato!' which is very reaffirming. 

But, almost every creative person I know struggles with this question. Circles this abyss and feels it start to pull them apart.

Creating things is hard in the best of times. 

Creating things when *gestures vaguely to the chaos of the world* is happening, feels impossible, like trying to bail out a boat with a cracked teacup.

But every time I think 'I'll just stop, why bother?', I can't bring myself to put down the cracked teacup. I want to create, I want to share stories, and games, and weird little ideas with all the people out there like me. Creation is a way to share pieces of ourselves with the wider world, to say 'I'm not alone, and neither are you' and it feels magical when that connection is made. 

So, to everyone else out there circling the edge of the abyss, staring into that bleakness of 'why bother?', I see you and I'll hold your hand until you can move from the edge, and you'll hold my hand when I inevitably teeter towards the edge because that is what art in all its many forms does.

It connects us when we feel like no one else understands our hearts. 

So, I guess all this rambling is just to say, why bother? Because I want all the other weirdos like me to feel a little less alone in this chaotic, scary world. 

This article originally appeared in Judy Black's email newsletter.